(eerie piano music)
(loud whooshing) (ominous music)
(water babbling)
- I really do not like this.
- You're such a pussy.
- Pussy's got nothing to do with it.
You know how I feel about this forest.
- Yeah, what was it, something your mom said?
- Yeah, she said there's like,
you know, a curse or something.
- Like a death curse?
- Well, that's what she said.
(spectacled man giggles)
- That's what she said.
Um.
You were just a kid, dude.
- Yeah, so?
- You sure she wasn't just telling you that
to keep you out of the woods?
Keep your dirty little boy hands clean?
- I mean, I mean, maybe.
But at the same time, it feels pretty, you know, specific.
- Well, that does sound pretty Pacific.
- Yeah, you know, she spoke about these woods
like they were some sort of living thing.
Like they were a lightning rod for all sorts of bad shit.
- Come on, dude, when in the history of the world
has lightning ever struck a tree?
- Fair point, I guess that's why
I let you talk me to come out here.
- Come on, dude, you gotta get over this.
Ellis Hardy's having a bush party next month
and we gotta be ready.
- I do wanna be with her again.
- Okay.
Yeah, cool.
- Now, you better hope nothing happens to me out here.
- I promise, if anything happens to you,
I'll move into a shack at the edge of the woods
built in the late-1880s for the rest of my life.
- Yeah, that sounds fair to me.
(chainsaw grumbling)
Do you hear that?
- Yeah.
I mean, come on, dude, it's...
(muffled grunting)
Dude, he has a fucking...
(chainsaw whirring)
Fucking, come on, dude, run.
(dramatic music)
- [Mysterious Man] Get after them.
(man grunting)
(spectacled man screaming)
- [Spectacled Man] No, my legs.
- [Mysterious Man] Don't let the other one get away.
(muffled grunting)
Come on.
- No.
No.
Stay back.
No.
- Step aside, dummy.
(man screaming)
(maniacal laughter)
(synth music)
(rock synth music)
(camera clicks)
(ominous music)
(leaves rustling)
Dead critter, no meat.
(eerie piano music)
(thunder rumbling)
(creepy percussive music)
(birds chirping)
(masked man grunting)
(ominous synth tones)
- Hold your damn horses, you big, smelly oaf.
This ain't ready to be ate just yet.
You'll wait for your damn supper just like the rest of us.
(masked man grunts)
Make all the damn noise you want, you stupid shit.
I told you this here meat is for our supper
and I fucking meant it.
(masked man grunting)
Don't you give me no backtalk, mister.
I'll put your head on a spike
before I take any lip from the likes of you.
(masked man grunting)
You are a tenacious little bastard.
Now, get.
(masked man grunting)
Neptune?
Is he out in that damn woods again?
Don't he know it ain't safe to go out there
with all them ghosts and goblins?
(masked man grunting)
Well, I hope he ain't stupid enough to stay out there
after dark or there'll be hell to pay.
(masked man grunting)
Got anything else to say, dummy?
(masked man grunting)
Well, don't you worry none about that, Eddie.
You know we only eat filthy sinners
just like the good lord demands.
(Eddie grunting)
That's right, Eddie.
Eating is good because we're all sinners at heart.
(Eddie grunting)
Well, all right already.
You're worse than a damn dog in heat.
Here's a morsel.
(Eddie grunting)
Now, don't you go letting that ruin your supper.
Damn kids today.
Don't have a lick of patience.
(ominous tones)
- Now, hear me out, boy.
Now, listen, don't go taking the law into your own hands.
Leave the investigation to us professionals.
- Sir. (sheriff shrieks)
- What is it, Rose?
Can't you see I'm on the phone?
- Your ex-wife is on line two.
- Crud muffin.
You tell her to hang on.
Hello, boy, you still there?
That sumbitch hung up on me.
(grunts)
- Line two, sir.
- Gad blast it.
(whimpers)
(mystical music)
(ominous music)
(bell music)
- Careless.
(trash bag rustling)
(ominous music)
Poor animal.
Not very respectful.
(ominous music)
- Neptune reporting in.
- [Harriet] I read you, Neptune, go ahead.
- Harriet, we've got a hiker out in the woods.
Send Eddie for backup.
He's down by the fallen tree down by Holland's Pass.
- [Harriet] Alrighty, I'll send him.
You boys better get back here long before dark.
- Roger that.
We'll get back as soon as we bag him.
- [Harriet] How's he look?
- He looks tender.
- [Harriet] Good.
Base, out.
(eerie music)
(thunder rumbling)
- What is with this rain?
This is a weird forest.
One more.
(Eddie grunting)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Take it easy, now.
There's no need for violence.
Why don't you put that sword down?
Okay, man.
Stay calm.
Wait a minute.
It's you, isn't it?
You're the one responsible for all the disappearances.
(Eddie grunting) (thrilling music)
(hiker grunts)
- What are you, brain-dead?
You can't hack him up out here.
It's a lot easier to bring him back in one piece.
Give me that sword.
How many times have I told you not to touch my stuff?
Besides, this one here's still alive.
And you never hacked up a live one before.
(Eddie grunting)
I know you didn't mean it.
Now help me get him back into the barn.
- No.
Wait.
(grunts) (thunder rumbling)
(camera clicks)
(Eddie grunts)
- Get him inside.
I gotta go back in the forest and get my sword.
(creepy music)
(Eddie grunting)
(birds chirping) (eerie music)
(Eddie grunting)
(cage rattles)
- What is this place?
Aren't any of you gonna answer me?
- They don't like us talking in here.
- I couldn't care less what they like.
I...
- They'll punish you.
They'll probably punish all of us.
Please, lower your voice.
- Hey.
Shut up.
- Okay.
Okay.
I'll be quiet.
Look.
I'm David.
Could one of you please tell me what's going on?
- I'm Jennifer.
We were grabbed up by these animals
while we were hiking in the forest.
I imagine the same thing happened to you?
- Are there any more captives?
Maybe in another location.
- There were captives.
- I found a piece of her backpack out in the forest.
Have you seen anybody wearing one of these?
Wait.
This'll be better.
Her.
Has anybody seen her?
- She was here last week.
- Well...
Well, where is she now?
What happened to her?
Talk to me.
- They took her away and she never came back.
(eerie music)
- Oh, god.
- I'm sorry.
- How long have you been here?
- I don't know, I figure maybe a couple of months.
- Look, I don't mean anything by this,
but if you've been here for awhile,
why didn't they take you first?
- She's their slave.
She gets to work and she gets to live.
Those that don't work...
- Then what?
- Then they just become lambs to the slaughter.
- No.
(somber music)
This can't be happening.
We have to get outta here.
- What, you think we didn't think of that, pal?
- These cages are held together with nothing but zip ties.
- They're surprisingly strong
and any noise sends one of them running.
- Maybe we can go through the top.
- They'll hear you.
This place might even be bugged.
- The woman, Harriet.
She's everywhere.
- I haven't met up with her yet.
- Pray you never do.
(metal clanging)
- Someone's coming.
(heavy footfalls)
(Eddie grunting)
He wants you to put your hands on your head.
(Eddie grunting)
(ominous music)
(Eddie grunting)
He wants you to go with him.
(both grunting)
(David sighing)
- Oh no.
(Eddie grunting)
- So much for heroics.
Poor bastard didn't have a chance.
(David coughing)
(tense music)
(David grunting)
- David. - Sh.
- David.
(David coughing)
(David grunting)
He won't get far with that open wound.
- He's gotten further than anyone else.
(rocks scraping)
- What the hell?
I thought you said you killed him.
(Eddie grunting)
Well, he ain't dead if he up and crawled away.
(Eddie grunts)
Well, he won't be hard to find.
He's leaving a trail a Yankee baker could follow.
I'll stay here, you follow that trail and bring him back.
(Eddie grunting)
Well, looks like we've had our share
of excitement for the day.
I'll get you a mop and I want this place cleaned up.
- Yes, ma'am.
(tense music)
(peaceful music) (David groaning)
(David coughing)
(tense music)
(leaves rustling) (banjo music)
(eerie music)
(thunder rumbling)
(eerie rustling) (maniacal whispering)
(creepy laughing)
(leaves rustling) (ominous music)
(dark music)
(Eddie grunting)
(Eddie chuckling)
- What the hell is going on around here?
(Eddie grunting)
You know Harriet's gonna kill you
if she finds out you're looking at this stuff.
No excuses.
You oughta be ashamed of yourself.
I understand.
Still, you gotta clean this up.
She looks kinda sweet, I'll give you that.
I wonder if she'd taste as sweet as she looks.
Take it easy.
She's not real, you know.
No, I'm not gonna tell Harriet
'cause she'd skin both of us alive.
Now get this stuff cleaned up.
(Eddie grunting)
Horny bastard.
(rhythmic music)
(camera clicks)
(tires squealing) (rabbit squelching)
(driver laughs)
- I got him.
- So predictable.
- I have to get something for all that money
we donated to the Audubon Society.
- We do get something, a big tax break.
- Oh yeah, I forgot.
(banjo music)
Take a look at this.
- You're not actually gonna stop for this woman, are you?
- Just gonna have a little bit of fun.
(woman groans)
- This better not make us late for the party.
(banjo music)
(ominous music)
- Hey, thanks for the ride.
But why did we stop?
- You haven't got the ride yet.
Do you have any cash?
- Money?
I'm only going to the next county.
- That's not so far.
How about $5?
Nice doing business with you.
(engine revving) (banjo music)
(engine grumbling)
(Eddie grunting)
(creature growling)
- Jim, what's wrong?
- Looks like you're outta gas.
- I thought you filled it up at the last stop.
- Me?
You've gotta be kidding.
- I don't believe this.
- What are we gonna do now?
- I think I know where we are.
There's a mom and pop gas station
a couple of miles from here.
- How many miles?
- I don't know.
A few.
- [Jim] What do you propose?
- Well, you could give me some gas money
and then I could go get it for us.
- No offense, I don't trust you with a dollar.
- None taken.
- Natalie, you go with her
and I'll stay here until you get back.
- Me?
That's absurd.
You go.
- I don't think it'd be proper of me to be
out in the middle of nowhere with this young lady.
- Yeah.
That's for sure.
- Come on, honey, take one for the team.
- You bastard.
Wait, you're going too fast.
- I gotta ask.
Why do you stay with that jerk?
- That's an easy one, girly.
For the money.
- Come on, princess.
(Eddie grunting)
- What are you getting so worked up about, Eddie?
They're down by the back 40.
They're nowhere near here.
(Eddie grunts)
Well, if they move, remember,
you can switch to a different camera.
(Eddie grunts)
Remember?
(Eddie grunts)
Now go, keep an eye on 'em.
(Eddie grunting) (ominous music)
(Jim laughs)
- Hope this doesn't take all night.
(creature growling)
That bitch is getting a little too big for her britches.
She better learn to do what she's told the first time.
(static crackling)
If she doesn't like it, she can choke on it.
(creature growling) (tense music)
(Jim groaning)
(neck snapping)
(static crackling)
- Let's get a move on.
- I'm coming.
It's not easy to walk in these heels, you know.
(creature growling) (woman screams)
(tense music)
(creature growling)
- On second thought, you can keep it.
(eerie piano music)
(whimsical music)
(sword scraping)
(air whooshing)
(camera clicks)
- Damn, Harriet was right.
This thing looks stupid.
(whimsical music)
(ominous music)
What the hell?
Neptune reporting in.
- [Harriet] Go ahead, Neptune.
- I found a dead body in the forest.
- [Harriet] That guy you and Eddie brought in yesterday?
The one dumbass thought he killed?
- No, this is someone else.
- [Harriet] Well, go figure, that's strange.
- I agree and I can't help but think
we're not the only predators in these here woods.
- [Harriet] I've been telling you morons that for months.
- Yeah, you know what, I'm starting to believe you.
- [Harriet] He still useful?
- Meat's fresh.
Hardly been touched.
- [Harriet] Good.
Get him back here on the double.
We need to kill all the meat we can
before the winter sets in.
- Okay, but when we're done, I'm coming back out here.
I wanna take another look around.
- [Harriet] Yeah, maybe you'd better.
- Neptune out.
- [Harriet] Wait, Neptune?
- Yeah?
- [Harriet] You be careful out there.
- Roger that, out.
(eerie music)
(creature growling)
(whimsical music)
(man yawning)
- What's that?
- This?
Just my lucky key.
- Really?
How'd you get it past them?
- Ha.
I guess they just missed it.
- Can I have it?
- What?
No.
It's all I have left.
- I want it.
- I don't care, Amy, it's mine.
- It's not fair.
When I got caught, they took everything I had.
- Hey, we all lost something in here, sweetie.
- I'm sorry, Amy, I really am, but this is mine.
- I'm gonna tell them you have it.
- What?
You wouldn't.
- I would.
If I tell them, they might let me live longer.
Well, longer than you, anyway.
- But you'd be killing me over a stupid key.
- I guess so.
But we can avoid that easily enough.
- How?
- Give it to me.
I'll keep it safe.
I'll even let you look at it sometimes.
- Sh.
They'll hear you.
- No, I'm not giving it to you.
- Come on.
It's better for me to have it than them.
Hand it over.
Come on.
- Fine, just take it.
- Better stop looking at me like that
or I'll tell them how you nabbed that sleeping bag.
- I'm going back to sleep.
Fuck you, Amy.
(Amy giggles)
(ominous music)
(creature growling) (chains rattling)
- What the hell?
(chains rattling)
I'm free.
I'd help you out but fuck you, right, Ross?
(ominous music)
(wood creaking)
(creature growling)
(Amy panting)
(creature growling)
(tense music)
(Amy screaming)
(Amy choking)
(neck snapping)
(banjo music)
(Eddie grunting)
(leaves rustling)
(camera clicks)
(wood bangs)
- Harriet.
I'm heading back out.
Keep your eyes open for them government planes.
- Don't you be telling me how to do my job,
you stinky, old lunkhead.
- Yeah, sorry.
By the way, these flash rainstorms
have made the bugs out here crazy hungry.
- Neptune, like I told you,
them's just God's precious creatures just like you
and just like me.
They got the taste for blood
and nature just provides them with the vittles.
- Talking about food,
you got something that'll hold me over till lunch?
- Go fuck yourself, Neptune.
You know I don't like you snacking between meals.
(wood bangs) (blood squelches)
- Don't be like that, Harriet.
Tracking down them sinners really gives me an appetite.
- Well?
(wood bangs) (blood squelches)
- Please?
- All right.
I swear you're a big, stinky kid at heart.
(wood bangs) (blood squelches)
- Great.
What do you got for me?
- How about a lady finger?
(wood bangs) (blood squelches)
- Sounds perfect.
- Here you go.
(wood bangs) (blood squelches)
- Hey, this is a thumb.
- So what?
(wood bangs) (blood squelches)
- Thumbs are all bony and short.
Come on, Harriet.
- Damn.
Here.
Just like I said before, a big, old baby.
(wood bangs) (blood squelches)
- Thanks, Harriet.
- You best remember that I ain't your momma
and I ain't no short order cook neither.
You'd best be remembering that.
And don't you go near that crick.
Hm.
He's kinda right.
Them thumbs is kinda tough like frog shit.
(wood banging) (ominous music)
- I think I love you.
(woman laughs)
What's so funny?
- You.
You're always saying such silly things.
- All I said was I think I love you.
What's so wrong with that?
- I don't know, everything?
We've only been together a short time.
Isn't it a little early for love?
- Haven't you heard of love at first sight?
That kind of thing happens all the time.
- Not to me.
- I think I loved you at first sight.
What do you think gave me the courage
to talk to you in the first place?
- Lust?
- That might be true.
- Why don't we sit over here?
- Sure.
- You packed sandwiches, right?
Can I have one?
- Only the best for you, my dear.
- Peanut butter?
This is the best you have to offer?
What happened to the egg salad sandwiches?
- What do you mean, in this heat?
They'd be totally disgusting by now.
- I guess you're right.
- You know, Laura, we've been going out
for quite awhile now.
- Aren't you gonna eat?
- Yeah, well-- - We should head back soon.
You should grab a bite.
- Laura.
- Don't let me eat alone.
You're gonna be hungry later.
- Fine.
- Condoms, really?
Is that where you think this date is going?
- Don't get upset.
- I'm already upset.
We've talked about this before.
I'm not ready for that.
- I just thought-- - I wanna go back to the car.
(ominous music)
- Wait. - It's this way, isn't it?
- Don't you know?
I thought you knew everything.
I'll show you the way later.
(man grunts)
Bitch.
(tense music)
- Help.
Somebody help me.
(tense music)
(man yells)
- You're gonna pay for that.
I'm gonna find you, I swear to God.
I'll fucking find you and I'll fucking kill you.
(creature growls)
What the fuck?
(man grunts)
What the fuck?
(man screaming)
No.
(man screaming)
(tense music)
- Holy shish kabob.
(leaves rustling)
- Okay.
I'm good.
But I think I'm lost.
Better head back the way I came but...
Okay, let's go.
(synth music)
Oh my god.
(leaves rustling)
(creature growling) (ominous music)
(Neptune panting)
- Harriet.
Come in, this is an emergency.
Answer me, dammit.
- [Harriet] What's wrong, Neptune?
Jeez, Neptune, what's got you so damn worked up?
- There's a monster in the forest.
It's been killing all them sinners out here.
- [Harriet] I told you them woods was full of goblins.
Where are you?
- I'm by Solace Trail.
- [Harriet] I'll send Eddie.
- You better both come in.
This thing, it's huge.
(creature growling)
(Neptune screaming)
- [Harriet] Neptune, you still there?
Neptune?
(dramatic music)
You dumbass.
(creature growling) (Neptune screaming)
(bones crunching)
(creature growling)
- Hey, looks like someone else is making a movie out here.
Hm.
- Hurry it up.
Is everyone locked up tighter
than a preacher's butt in there?
Well, close the damn door, you big bonehead.
And don't forget your prodder.
Lord, give me strength.
Let's go.
(Eddie grunting)
(leaves rustling)
We're almost there, Eddie.
Keep going.
(Eddie grunting)
Well, how are we supposed to defend ourselves
against goblins if you can't even work your two wobbly legs?
(Eddie grunting)
What is it, boy, you find something?
(Eddie grunting)
It's Neptune.
They got him.
They're not gonna get away with this, Eddie.
I'm gonna be cooking up a fine mess of goblin stew
before this is rightfully over.
(creature growling)
There it is, Eddie.
Jesus.
Let's go get it.
(Eddie grunting) (banjo music)
Flank him, Eddie.
Look at me, you dirty goblin.
Zap him, Eddie.
(electricity crackling)
(creature growling)
It's too damned strong, Eddie.
We need a plan.
That's why we needed Neptune.
He was so good at all this killing stuff.
(creature growling)
I think I might have a plan that might just work.
(Eddie grunting)
Hush your mouth, Eddie, and just give me a second to think.
Maybe if we can lead it back to the pen...
(Eddie grunting)
I'll run back and get things ready
and you agitate it enough to make it follow you.
(Eddie grunting)
You get it right, Eddie, do it.
(banjo music) (Eddie grunting)
(electricity crackling) (creature growling)
(banjo music)
(Eddie panting)
(metal clanging)
I'm turning on the juice.
(Eddie grunting)
(banjo music)
(electricity crackling)
That should hold it, Eddie.
Don't you see?
With Neptune gone, we don't got anybody
to do our killing for us.
This here monster's gonna do our dirty work.
(Eddie grunting) (ominous music)
Let's do our rounds and we'll test my idea later.
(ominous synth music)
(door creaking)
(banjo music)
(Eddie grunting)
(metal banging)
(Eddie grunting)
- I'm not eating anymore of your damn slop.
- Just eat the damn slop.
You're gonna ruin it for everyone else.
- I deserve better.
- You both better keep it down or we're all dead.
(Eddie grunting)
- Make all the fucking noise you want.
I know you're just gonna kill me.
At least this way I can keep some self-respect.
(cage rattling)
(wood banging)
(Eddie grunting)
- Hit the road, Eddie.
No snacks before lunch.
(Eddie grunting)
So my goulash ain't good enough for him?
Well, it was his last meal anyways.
I'll cook him up something special.
(both laughing)
(Eddie grunting) (wood banging)
(door creaking)
(Eddie grunting)
(melodic music)
(ominous music)
- [Jennifer] I wouldn't eat that if I were you.
You know what it's made from.
- I don't care.
I deserve the best and this is the best they have.
(ominous music)
(birds chirping)
(tense music)
I knew you'd come.
At least I got one decent meal before the end.
(Eddie grunting)
(metal clicking)
(Eddie grunting) (folksy music)
(creature growling)
(metal clanging) (Eddie grunting)
(creature growling)
(electricity whirs)
Electrified fence.
You two are full of surprises.
(Eddie grunting)
Wow, first a lovely lunch, now time in the yard.
You're going to spoil me.
(creature growling) (ominous music)
Huh?
- You ain't gonna spoil.
You're gonna die.
(tense music) (creature growling)
- Okay, okay.
Let me out, let me out.
Please, I'll do anything you ask.
Just let me out.
- All I want is for you to drop dead.
And it looks like I'm gonna get my wish.
- I'm not gonna go this way, I won't.
- You don't have much in the way of choices.
- No.
(man shouting) (electricity whirring)
- Well, that seemed to work out just fine.
We should do another one.
(Eddie grunting)
We'll be set early for winter this year.
(Eddie grunting)
Don't just stand there.
You need to get him back to the shack.
(Eddie groans)
(metal clanging)
(Eddie grunting)
(metal clanging)
(electricity whirs) (creature growling)
Well, butter my butt and call me biscuit,
you and I might just turn out
to be good friends after all, goblin.
(chuckles)
(creature groaning) (pleasant music)
Eddie.
(duck quacking)
That lard ass better be doing his work.
Eddie, what are you doing down there?
(Eddie grunting)
All right then, Eddie, onto the next chore.
(Eddie grunting)
- I'm up.
Okay. (cage rattling)
We don't have to do this all the time, Eddie.
I know the routine, huh?
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's up.
It's up, I get it, yeah.
(ominous music)
Yeah, cut it.
Let's get this done, get it over with.
(Eddie grunting)
It's up, all right?
Okay, yeah, good, you opened the door.
Okay, I'm stepping out, I'm stepping out, I'm stepping out.
Relax. (Eddie grunting)
Hey, Eddie, Eddie, come on.
Okay, easy with it.
Hey, Eddie, listen.
Just watch it with that thing.
I know you're a smart guy.
I know you're smart.
Okay, just listen to me, Eddie, okay?
(Eddie grunting) Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
It's okay.
See, see?
Hey, hey.
It's fine.
(dramatic music) (both grunting)
You shouldn't have done this, Eddie.
(electricity crackling)
You should've listen to me, Eddie.
- What the fuck are you doing, you piece of shit?
(flesh squelching)
Goddamn, that's some tough meat.
Eddie.
(ominous music) (Eddie grunting)
Eddie, you almost let this one get away.
Now you pack him up before anything else bad happens.
(Eddie grunting)
(banjo music)
(engine revving)
(folksy music)
(Eddie grunting)
(engine grumbling)
(camera clicks)
(ominous music)
(Eddie grunting)
Yes, Eddie, we're gonna do another one.
Didn't I already say as much?
(Eddie grunting)
You have someone in mind, who?
That lazy one?
Is he still refusing to do his work?
Well, what does Jennifer have to say about this?
Isn't she supposed to be the one
in charge of the work crews?
(Eddie grunting)
She can't get him to work neither?
Well, I think we found our next victim, Eddie.
You help me clean this up and then we'll pay him a visit.
(Eddie grunting)
(wood banging)
(creek babbling)
Where is he, Eddie?
(Eddie grunting)
Well, how the hell did he get himself that sleeping bag?
(Eddie grunting)
Well, he must have got it from around here somewheres.
(Eddie grunting)
Nothing's gonna wake this slug abed.
Not even your infernal racket, Eddie.
(Eddie grunting)
Wait a minute.
Ain't this the dirty, little snitch
that told us that Sawyer wasn't pulling his weight?
(Eddie grunting)
Hang on a spell.
You know what I think, Eddie?
I think he ratted out his friend for what he done himself.
(Eddie grunting)
I thought Sawyer's meat was a might sweet.
I have an idea, Eddie.
Let's teach this couch potato a lesson he will never forget.
(Eddie grunting)
Let's go.
- No.
Wait.
No, I can explain, please, no.
No.
- Well, don't you look like a great big chimichanga.
- [Ross] No (screams) no.
Please.
Oh my god.
Oh.
Stop.
No.
(Eddie and Ross grunting)
Come on.
Let me out of here.
(Eddie and Ross grunting)
Please, come on, no, no.
- Hurry up and get him inside, Eddie.
(Eddie and Ross grunting)
(metal clanging)
(Eddie and Ross grunting)
Take him a little further, Eddie.
(ominous music)
Come on, Eddie, hurry up.
(metal creaking)
(metal clanging)
(ominous music)
(creature growling)
- [Ross] No.
Stop it, no.
(Ross grunting)
- Damn.
What a way to go.
(Eddie laughs)
Yeah, yeah.
That thing is better than Neptune was on his best day.
(Eddie grunting)
I'm excited too, Eddie, I'm excited too.
(Eddie grunting)
Maybe we should do one more?
(Eddie grunting)
Okay.
Well, hold up, Eddie, hold up.
We need to talk about this.
Now, let's just think for a dang second.
How many we got left?
(Eddie grunting)
Just one?
Jennifer?
(Eddie grunting)
Okay, hold on, we have some choices to make here, Eddie.
She's a dang good worker.
But with everybody else dead,
what does she have to do around here?
(Eddie grunting)
We'd be set for winter. (Eddie grunting)
Oh, what the hell, this'll be fun.
Come on.
(Eddie grunting)
Morning, sleepyhead.
Wakey, wakey.
- Is it time for me to sweep the cages?
- Not today.
We have a different chore in mind.
(Eddie chuckles) Get her out, Eddie.
(ominous music) (Eddie grunting)
- I'll come quietly.
- Yeah, yeah, we know.
That's what we like about you, baby girl.
How's about a little song?
♪ Well the Camptown ladies sing this song, doodah, doodah ♪
♪ The Camptown race track's five miles long ♪
♪ Oh the doodah day ♪
Take it, Eddie.
(Eddie grunting melodically)
♪ I'll bet my money on the bobtail nag ♪
♪ Somebody bet on the bay ♪
♪ Well, I came down there with my hat caved in ♪
♪ Doodah, doodah ♪
♪ I go back home with a pocketful of tin ♪
♪ Oh the doodah day ♪
- Oh god, just kill me now. (creature growling)
Oh my god, what is that thing?
(tense music)
Is that Ross?
- Yes, it is.
He took a royal pounding.
Come on, baby girl.
(electricity crackles) (Jennifer yips)
(tense music)
(Eddie grunting)
(metal clanging)
(Eddie chuckles)
(tense music)
- Please don't do this.
- It'll be all over soon.
(dramatic music)
(Jennifer sobbing)
Come on, take it like a man.
(Jennifer sobbing)
The least you can do is make it sporting.
(Eddie grunting)
(Jennifer sobbing)
- David?
David?
- What just happened?
That thing turn pussy on us, Eddie?
(somber music)
(Eddie grunting)
How am I supposed to know what's going on?
Maybe the creature's sweet on her.
I don't know.
(tense music)
- I'm not gonna hurt you.
- I've had enough of this.
Eddie, get your prodder ready.
- [Jennifer] I'm not gonna hurt you.
- This is not working, girly.
Let's get you out of here.
(creature growling)
(metal clanging)
(Eddie grunting)
(cage rattling)
Better start making with them explanations, girly.
Why didn't that goblin kill you?
- I honestly don't know.
I don't know, I don't.
- Eddie, give me them zip ties.
(Eddie grunting)
They're not for the cage.
They're for her.
(creature growling)
(tense music)
(creature panting)
(Eddie grunting)
Give me that prodder, Eddie.
This'll loosen your sweet, little lips.
(Jennifer screaming) (electricity crackling)
(creature roars)
- I don't know what's going on.
I don't know.
I don't.
- Tell me! - No!
(tense music)
(electricity crackling) (creature groaning)
(metal creaks)
(electricity whirs)
- The power's out.
I'll bet that lovesick bog monster
got something to do with this.
Eddie, get out there and keep watch
and I'll get Ms. Cookie Britches ready to play.
We just might need her.
(creature growling)
(dramatic music)
(metal clanging)
(creature growling)
It won't be long now, Eddie.
(tense music)
(creature growling)
Oh.
There it is.
We'll get it with the prodders just like before.
(Eddie grunting)
(dark music)
Go, Eddie.
(electricity crackling)
Get him, Eddie, get him.
(Eddie grunting) (creature growling)
(electricity crackling)
It's weak from wrecking the damn fence.
Go at it.
(electricity crackling)
Come on, Eddie.
Zap the damn thing.
(heroic music)
(Harriet shouting)
(electricity crackling)
- How does it feel, boss?
How do you like it?
(Harriet screaming)
Spare this rod, huh?
Your turn.
(electricity crackling) (tense music)
(creature growling)
(tense music)
(Jennifer laughing)
Yes.
(dramatic music)
(creature growling)
- What the hell?
You gotta die from something.
(creature growling) (tense music)
(Harriet screams)
(Jennifer shouting) (tense music)
(folksy music)
(Eddie grunting)
(cage rattling)
(slop squelching)
(dramatic music)
(bones crunching)
(metal banging)
- It's over.
You did it.
They'll never hurt anybody ever again.
You know, I could get you some help.
You don't have to live like this.
Let me get you some help.
David.
If it's you, let me help.
(somber piano music)
Goodbye, David.
Thank you.
(heroic synth music)
(camera clicks)
(upbeat rock electronic music)
♪ I hear slippers paying ♪
♪ While I crouch in your backseat ♪
♪ And happy all-night horror show ♪
♪ They're starting strong now ♪
♪ They just finished ♪
♪ The creature from the ocean floor ♪
♪ You'll live through robot monster ♪
♪ And survive the incredible melting man ♪
♪ The man of proper 10,000 leagues ♪
♪ And the Creature from Cannibal Creek ♪
♪ Creature feature, octo-man won't eat you ♪
♪ Alligator people or the killer shrews ♪
♪ Creature feature, I'm dying to meet you ♪
♪ Coming out to eat you when you make it through ♪
♪ I only feed at dawn ♪
♪ When the battery charger comes 'round ♪
♪ Your wheels up and I suck up the juice ♪
♪ Before tearing up the stragglers in the crowd ♪
♪ The creature from the haunted sea goes back ♪
♪ And even Roger Corman can't save you now ♪
♪ The man of proper 10,000 leagues ♪
♪ And the Creature from Cannibal Creek ♪
♪ Creature feature, octo-man won't eat you ♪
♪ Alligator people or the killer shrews ♪
♪ Creature feature, I'm dying to meet you ♪
♪ Coming out to eat you when you make it through ♪
(synth rock music)
♪ Creature feature, octo-man won't eat you ♪
♪ Alligator people or the killer shrews ♪
♪ Creature feature, I'm dying to meet you ♪
♪ Coming out to eat you when you make it through ♪
♪ Creature feature, octo-man won't eat you ♪
♪ Alligator people or the killer shrews ♪
♪ Creature feature, I'm dying to meet you ♪
♪ Coming out to eat you when you make it through ♪
♪ Creature feature, octo-men won't eat you ♪
- Now go, keep an eye on 'em.
- Just left the city 'cause I needed space.
I moved to a town with a foreign name I can't place.
Rich history, predating European landing.
Indians lived and died right here where I'm standing.
And the house, spacious, lots of natural light.
A great place for me to--
- What are you doing back here?
I told you not to interrupt my stories.
Get out.
- [Man] I've been on the market for years but no takers.
Big backyard.
(eerie piano music)